God’s Big Mysterious Will

I’m a big fan of mystery novels. Not the trashy paperbacks you get at the airport, but the mysteries that have depth and writers that know how to suck you into the story. Put a book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, or G.K. Chesterson in front of me and I’m a happy girl. I particularly like mysteries that I cannot figure out “who done it” or they throw that “where did that come from” twist towards the end of the book. When I read I like to be left in suspense, I like the thrill and confusion of not knowing answers until the last chapter.

However, I positively hate mystery when it comes to my life. Walking along the road of life, asking questions, but not getting answers right away. The past three years of my life have had a lot of confusion and “where did that come from” twists. There have been a lot of questions and not a lot of forward direction. I ask and the Holy Spirit tells me to sit, be faithful and wait. Do they give degrees for learning trust and patience? :) One of the things that I have wrestled with during this time is the subject of knowing God’s will/hearing God speak or lead. How do I know? How can I be sure? It’s been a very rich time of learning much about my Savior and learning to trust Him more than I ever have.

The bloggers over at Blazing Center (my favorite blog) have been doing a series of posts on the Lord’s will. And they have got me thinking, again. Why is it so hard for people to step out in faith and just do what they think they’re supposed to do? I’m so guilty of this. I constantly second guess myself. “Should I really share that Scripture with so and so? What if I’m wrong?” “Is this prophetic word from the Lord. Am I just being proud? What if it’s just me?” “Should I really go talk to that person, am I reading into things? Did God really tell me to or is it just me?” And the list goes on and on. For me the big sin is fear (i.e not trusting God). I simply do not want to walk out on a limb. I like to be safe and comfortable. I’m scared to do something wrong. I’m scared to be out of God’s will. I’m scared to be influenced more by my own feelings than God’s word. In short I paralyze myself in my indecision.

I’m aware that some of my fears are genuine and they should be weighed. I want to be godly, in God’s will, and influenced by His Word. But, often, I can swing the pendulum away from the middle (balance) of the issue and off to the far side. Legalism and fear become my friends. I become paralyzed. I do not live by faith, but but in fear. So, what’s the answer?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

For me, I need to trust the Lord to protect my paths. As long as I’m actively seeking His will, counsel from others, and focusing on Him; I have nothing to fear. Sometimes (often times for me) God will put us in situations that we do not understand. Often He does not let us see why. He just requires us to step out on a limb and trust Him.

The bottom line is do I rest in His character as my Father, Savior, and Creator? Do I trust in God or my ability to control the situation? Whose glory am I pursuing? If I’m pursuing God’s than I’ll be willing to walk out on that limb. To obey (in the parameters I listed above) His leading, trusting that the limb won’t break. To walk (instead of sitting in indecision), knowing that if I’m walking in the wrong direction, He will redirect my course.

Recommended Blog Posts:

Discovering the Will of God Pt. 1

Discovering the Will of God Pt. 2

Overcoming the Paralysis of Indecision

Only A Fool Wouldn’t Ask

Faithfulness in the ER

At around 7pm last night I received a call, “Jess can you come take me to the ER.” My friend Emily had been in intense pain all day. Nausea had started a week and a half ago. Intense migraines started 5 days ago. Lower abdominal pain started on Sunday. The pain had increased and it hurt to move…any movement hurt. She was dizzy and nauseas if she stood up. We thought it might be her appendix. Not what you want. But, it would have been an answer. Emily has spent the past two years hearing “we don’t know what’s wrong with you.” You do have Celiac’s, but we don’t know the cause of your migraines, numbness, etc. We hoped to have some answers last night. They admitted her, gave her meds to help with the pain and nausea. They did blood work and a CT-Scan, it all came back clear. Her insides looked fine and healthy. (Yay! That was good to hear.) So at midnight, they sent her home. And she once again heard the words, “It’s a mystery, we don’t know what’s wrong with you.” They recommended getting a lower GI done.

As I sit here this morning (drinking lots of coffee to stay awake), my heart aches. I do not understand. I hate to see my friend in so much pain. I hate seeing her discouraged. I just want to make it all better. But, then I remember how much the Creator loves her. He died for her. He redeemed her. He has done amazing things in her life. She is not the same woman that walked into church almost 6 years ago. (I was freshly reminded of this fact as she gave a long list of “No’s” to the nurses questions last night.) He has provided for her again and again. He has used her to bring Him so much glory. But, I still can’t explain the why. Why has He allowed her to suffer so much? Why can’t the doctors figure this out?

I don’t know. My dad has said that you have to be comfortable with mystery. I cannot give a single answer to all the whys. But, this is what I know:

Psalm 121:5-8 The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self  is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

1 Corinthians 10:22 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Isaiah 54:10 For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Psalm 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Psalm 34:15 The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Isaiah 64:4 From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Psalm 103:13-14 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

2 Corinthians 12:9a My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Isaiah 41:10 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Psalm 73:25-26 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 37:23-24 The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Isaiah 43:2a When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.

Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Psalm 145:13b The LORD is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else
in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ
Jesus our Lord.

I can’t explain suffering. But, I know that God uses it for our good. It’s no fun, but often times it produces the most fruit. I’ve have seen God’s faithfulness displayed more during seasons of suffering than at any other time in my life. Though my heart aches for my friend, my hope does not lie in answers. My hope lies in a risen Savior. He loves her more than I can begin to imagine. He died for her. He sustains her. He has a reason for this trial. I don’t understand it, but I trust Him. I know that He is perfectly good and everything He does is good. If it wasn’t not, than He would cease to be God. He is all-powerful and all-knowing. He sees the big picture. I trust His care, His love, and His wisdom for Emily. He knows. He is faithful. God provided an amazing staff of doctors and nurses. God displayed His love to Emily by giving her friends that surrounded her and cared for her. She now knows a lot of things that the pain is not. And most importantly, her loving Father has promised to never leave her and to uphold her.

So, it was a long night and I’m really tired this morning. But, it was so cool to watch God display His faithfulness and care in an ER room!

O Wondrous Love

O wondrous love that will not let me go
I cling to You with all my strength and soul
Yet if my hold should ever fail
This wondrous love will never let me go
O wondrous love that’s come to dwell in me
Lord who am I that I should come to know
Your tender voice assuring me
This wondrous love will never let me go
I’m resting in the everlasting arms
In the ever faithful heart
The Shepherd of my life
You’ll carry me on Your mighty wings of grace
Keeping me until the day
I look into Your eyes
O wondrous love that sings of Calvary
The sweetest sound this sinner’s ever known
The song of Your redeeming Son
Whose wondrous love will never let me go
O wondrous love that rushes over me
I can’t escape this river’s glorious flow
You overwhelm my days with good
Your wondrous love will never let me go

Words and music by Steve and Vikki Cook. © 2001 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved.

Random Musings From My Quiet Time

Out of the Depths

Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands
So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You, my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You
The secret mysteries belong to You
We only know what You reveal
And all my questions that are unresolved
Don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
My hope is in the cross
Where Your compassions never fail

Words and music by Bob Kauflin. As recorded on Psalms. © 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). All Rights Reserved.

At New Attitude ‘07, Bob Kauflin sang a spontaneous song during worship. I felt like the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to listen to it this morning. It was once again encouraging. Circumstances should not dictate my feelings. God is faithful, powerful, all-wise, and loving. My hope does not lie in what I do or don’t feel, but in my powerful Creator!!! Here are the words to the song:

How long O Lord? Must I keep knocking at Your door? How long must I be waiting? I’ve prayed to You, but I don’t hear You speak. I’m waiting still and I am getting weak. My child, I know what you’re going through. I know your fears because I created you. And each step you take I gave to you. And I prepared what you have been going through. And you want to understand, you want to know, but I have engraved you on the palm of My hand. You want to feel my nearness, to hear me speak, but my power is perfected in the humble and the weak. I’ve spoken words just for you. I gave my Son to deliver you. And forever you’ll hear the sound of my voice, saying I brought you near, so you can rejoice. But, for now I’m calling you to trust, I’m calling you to believe, that I am a faithful God to you. For now, I’m calling you to believe what you cannot see. But, what you know is true. I can hear you, I am near you.

…fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand…For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Fear not, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel! I am the one who helps you, declares the Lord; your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel…When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thrist, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I wil open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys. I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.I will put in the wilderness the cedar, the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set in the desert the cypress, the plane and the pine together, that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it. Isaiah 41:10, 13-14, 18-20

The Cross = The Answer to Singleness

What do you say to an almost 30yr. old single? What do you tell her when all of her (or him) childhood friends (all but two or three) are married and have children? How do you encourage someone who has never been in a relationship? How do you encourage her (or him) when no one is on “the radar screen”? What can you say? You know the typical answers won’t serve her (or him). They’ve probably heard, “Don’t worry, God will provide…I was 35 when I got married…just trust God and serve…enjoy this time of extended singleness”, about 5 million times. How do you care for someone like this?

Easy! The same way you would care for someone grieving the loss of a loved or or someone struggling with sin. The ultimate answer to any problem is always the same…you point them to the cross! You point them to Scripture. You point them to the undeniable truth of God’s faithfulness.

The cross truly is the answer to every struggle. Even extended singleness? Absolutely! It is the ultimate proof of God’s faithfulness and abounding love. If God loved us enough to kill His own Son, don’t you think He’ll take care of us afterwards? If He paid that great of a cost to make us His children, it stands to reason He will continue to provide and care for us now. We are saved, redeemed, and ransomed. What else really matters? We’re not going to Hell! Instead we are on a race to Heaven. We have a relationship with God that the Old Testament writers could only have imagined. Things of this world pale in comparison to eternity with our Redeemer.

Dare I say this? Could it possibly…gulp…be true? Marriage is not the answer to life’s problems. Gasp…really? It’s not the ultimate cure to our longings and desires. Only One Person can satisfy. He is a jealous God. He wants our full gaze and affections. A spouse is a precious (and amazing!!!) gift from God. (A gift I pray daily I will get to experience.) But a spouse cannot compare to God. Nothing is as soul satisfying and glorious as a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Your friend probably knows all this. But, what you know in your head and what your heart believes when it’s aching can be two different things. Trust me! The truths of the gospel (as the ultimate display of God’s love and faithfulness), His wooing as the Lover of our soul, and the satisfying God who is our all-in-all. These are truths to gently preach to a discouraged single (actually to any discouraged Christian!).

That’s all well and good. But, sometimes truth just doesn’t sink in. You need truth slapped across your face. It needs to grip your soul and force your mind and emotions to SHUT UP! What do you do then? Here are a list of Scriptures that I cling to and preach to myself when my weary soul needs to gaze heavenward…yes, it’s a long list…

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10 …a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Isaiah 41:9 you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 13 For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” 17 When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them.

For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness. Psalm 26:3

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness… Exodus 34:6

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36

…He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Proverbs 2:7-8

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me. Psalm 86:5-7

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Psalm 34:7-8

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 42:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

And that’s just a small portion…here’s the references to many more:

Ps. 30:11, Ro. 8:28, Isa. 54:10, Isa. 46:9b-11, Ps. 27:13-14, Ro. 10:17, Phil. 1:6b, Ps. 34:15, Isa. 65:24, Ps. 84:11, Ps. 46:1, Isa. 64:4, Ps. 86:15, Ps. 103:8-10, Ps. 103:13-14, 2 Cor. 12:9a, Isa. 40:28-29, Isa. 41:10, Ps. 73:25-26, Ps. 37:23-24, Ps. 55:22, Jer. 29:11, Lam. 2:22-23, Isa. 30:18, Ps. 46:1-3, Eph. 2:8-9, Isa. 43:25, Ps. 103:12, Josh. 1:9, Ro. 8:38-39, Ps. 145:9, Jer. 1:12, Ps. 36:5 (You can find them all typed out HERE.)

When I’m tempted to doubt, I remind myself that either the Bible is true (the very words of God) or it’s not. It’s ALL true or none of it’s true. God is either telling the truth or a very big liar. And since lying would cause Him to not be God, He IS TELLING THE TRUTH. That means that everything IS for my good. Even in the darkest night, He WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. He will provide, He will sustain, He will bless, He will (and does) care for me. He is faithful, even when I’m faithless.

And that’s what I’d tell an “old” single. You may read this and wonder if I really know what I’m talking about? Is this another married person talking about being single…nope! :) I’m an “older” single. I’m the girl who wanted to be married right out of high school. I was hoping to have lots of kids by now. My plans and God’s did not coincide. And even though it’s not my preference, I can say that God’s plans are best! I can’t imagine being anywhere else! He is faithful beyond my imaginings! He sustains and cares for my soul. He is…words fail!!!! Do I want to get married? HECK YEAH!!! Do I wonder why God has decided to make me wait so long? Absolutely! But, I cling to the truths and Scripture I listed above. There is a glorious reason for the wait. I haven’t the foggiest idea what that reason is…but, I don’t need to know. He knows. He is working. He is orchestrating. He can see the big picture, I can only see 2 feet ahead of me. Being in His plan is far more satisfying than my own. It’s a little difficult at times, but He provides the grace, power, and strength (because of the cross!) for everything He requires me to walk through. What amazing grace! What an amazing God!

A Letter To A Friend…

Dearest of Friends,

At this moment my heart is overflowing with love for you. Your woes and cares are never too much for me to hear. Nothing you say would be too much. Why? Because I don’t ultimately carry your burdens for you. I pray, plead, and attempt to encourage you; but, I can never fix your problems. As much as I want to snap my fingers and make life better, it’s not up to me. It is in the hands of Another. And this brings me great joy. I can look at your afflictions and be at peace. This peace is not because I do not care, no this peace is because I know He cares. The One who holds the Universe in His hand. The One that keeps the earth on it’s axis. The One who causes rain to fall from the sky and keeps my heart beating. This is the very One Who is weaving together the events of your life. Right now it looks like the biggest mess, but that is because the tapestry of your life is directly in front of you. The Great Weaver has the master plan. He is standing back and sees the entire design. It is a beautiful thing in His eyes. Not only is your life in His grasp, but everything He is doing is for your good.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I know, right now that verse isn’t ringing true. Everything in you wants to say that it is a lie. It can’t possibly be true…how is this mess good? How can it ever be for your good? But, remember, you’re looking at a tangled mess of thread. You’re looking at the events that are taking place today. He sees what will happen next year. He knows what will happen in ten years. What is agony now will be loving kindness in the years to come. There will be a day when you look back on this time and weep in gratitude. There will be a day (even if it is in Heaven), when this affliction WILL make sense.

I can have peace, because I know that your greatest problem has been solved. You were running as fast as you could for hell. You hated God and wanted nothing to do with Him. But, in His amazing mercy, God snatched you from your hell-bound race and saved your soul. If He loves you that much, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will be okay. He loves you so much more than I ever will. He cares for your soul enough to kill His Son for you. He loves you so much that He grabbed your rebellious heart (and it was rebellious with an attitude!!!) and showered it with His irresistible love. If He would do this, He will take care of you. He will not give you more than you can handle.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

That is a promise. God does not lie. Even though it seems too much, it isn’t. He will be your source of strength and help. He is all you need. He is your comfort. He is your rock. He is your hiding place. He is the Lover of your soul.

Know that I’m here for you, whenever you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Know that I am praying for you. Know that I love you! And more importantly, know that He loves you and He is holding you.

Let me end with a couple of Scriptures. I pray these encourage your soul…

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:21-25

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:3-9

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16