I’m a big fan of mystery novels. Not the trashy paperbacks you get at the airport, but the mysteries that have depth and writers that know how to suck you into the story. Put a book by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, or G.K. Chesterson in front of me and I’m a happy girl. I particularly like mysteries that I cannot figure out “who done it” or they throw that “where did that come from” twist towards the end of the book. When I read I like to be left in suspense, I like the thrill and confusion of not knowing answers until the last chapter.
However, I positively hate mystery when it comes to my life. Walking along the road of life, asking questions, but not getting answers right away. The past three years of my life have had a lot of confusion and “where did that come from” twists. There have been a lot of questions and not a lot of forward direction. I ask and the Holy Spirit tells me to sit, be faithful and wait. Do they give degrees for learning trust and patience? :) One of the things that I have wrestled with during this time is the subject of knowing God’s will/hearing God speak or lead. How do I know? How can I be sure? It’s been a very rich time of learning much about my Savior and learning to trust Him more than I ever have.
The bloggers over at Blazing Center (my favorite blog) have been doing a series of posts on the Lord’s will. And they have got me thinking, again. Why is it so hard for people to step out in faith and just do what they think they’re supposed to do? I’m so guilty of this. I constantly second guess myself. “Should I really share that Scripture with so and so? What if I’m wrong?” “Is this prophetic word from the Lord. Am I just being proud? What if it’s just me?” “Should I really go talk to that person, am I reading into things? Did God really tell me to or is it just me?” And the list goes on and on. For me the big sin is fear (i.e not trusting God). I simply do not want to walk out on a limb. I like to be safe and comfortable. I’m scared to do something wrong. I’m scared to be out of God’s will. I’m scared to be influenced more by my own feelings than God’s word. In short I paralyze myself in my indecision.
I’m aware that some of my fears are genuine and they should be weighed. I want to be godly, in God’s will, and influenced by His Word. But, often, I can swing the pendulum away from the middle (balance) of the issue and off to the far side. Legalism and fear become my friends. I become paralyzed. I do not live by faith, but but in fear. So, what’s the answer?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
For me, I need to trust the Lord to protect my paths. As long as I’m actively seeking His will, counsel from others, and focusing on Him; I have nothing to fear. Sometimes (often times for me) God will put us in situations that we do not understand. Often He does not let us see why. He just requires us to step out on a limb and trust Him.
The bottom line is do I rest in His character as my Father, Savior, and Creator? Do I trust in God or my ability to control the situation? Whose glory am I pursuing? If I’m pursuing God’s than I’ll be willing to walk out on that limb. To obey (in the parameters I listed above) His leading, trusting that the limb won’t break. To walk (instead of sitting in indecision), knowing that if I’m walking in the wrong direction, He will redirect my course.
Recommended Blog Posts:
Discovering the Will of God Pt. 1
Discovering the Will of God Pt. 2
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